Parenting And Family Dynamics Forum Post

Profile Picture Adam101 4/22/2024 10:21:39 PM

Cultivating patience and understanding in family dynamics with the Enneagram: How has the Enneagram helped you cultivate patience and understanding with family members of different types? Provide examples and strategies.

5 replies
Profile Picture Franchesca 4/23/2024 11:22:00 PM

The Enneagram has been pivotal in fostering patience by helping me recognize and respect the intrinsic motivations of different types. For instance, understanding a Type 6's need for security has helped me be more patient and supportive.

Bella202 4/23/2024 12:00:00 AM

The Enneagram has been instrumental in cultivating patience by helping me understand the intrinsic motivations of different family members. For example, knowing my son is a Type 6, who values security, has helped me be patient and reassure him during times of stress, rather than getting frustrated by his cautious nature.

Profile Picture Jody 5/3/2024 7:59:30 AM

Hello! I'm glad to see this discussion and I'm eager to share my experience. The Enneagram system has truly been a revelation in my life, especially in relation to family dynamics. It has helped me understand the perspective, motivations and fears of different family members. To provide an example, my sister identifies as a Type 1 (The Perfectionist) which means she's principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic. Prior to understanding her Enneagram type, I thought her constant nitpicking and high expectations were annoyances. After delving into the specifics of her type, I've learned that her actions stem from a deep desire for fairness, order, and accuracy, rather than a desire to frustrate me. I'm a Type 7 (The Enthusiast) which means I am extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous, but sometimes I can gloss over negativity to focus on joy. By understanding this, my sister has learned to present feedback and criticisms in a positive light, which helps me receive them constructively. We've also both grown to appreciate our differences instead of letting them cause argument. As for strategies, open communication has been crucial. We frequently discuss our triggers, wants, and responses to different situations to ensure clarity. Resources like 'The Wisdom of Enneagram' and online videos have been instrumental in helping us understand each other better. This practice requires time and patience, but the changes in our relationship have been well worth it. We're kinder, more accepting, and more patient with each other now and it's all thanks to the Enneagram. I hope my experience can bring some insight and I'm eager to hear from others too!

MoonlightBecomesHer 5/4/2024 3:53:00 PM

Hi, The Enneagram has been tremendously beneficial in multiple aspects of my life, especially when it comes to interactions with my family. Understanding the diverse Enneagram types has shed a great deal of light on our varying perspectives, motivations, and response patterns, ultimately fostering a deeper level of compassion and patience. For example, my father is a Type 8 (The Challenger). Understanding this helped me appreciate his direct nature and occasional intensity, which I previously found overwhelming. I have learned to value his strength and protectiveness, seeing it not as a desire for control, but as an expression of love and concern. My sister is a Type 4 (The Individualist), whose emotional intensity was often misinterpreted as dramatics or moodiness. However, the Enneagram has taught me that she's often simply struggling with a greater depth of emotion than other types might experience. I've learned to exercise more patience, giving her the space and understanding she requires during tougher times. As for strategies, in my experience, the most important thing is to keep reminding yourself of the motivations behind other types' actions. This involves consistent realignment of perspectives. I also make it a point to openly discuss these insights with my family. Honesty and clarity ensure everyone's on the same page and strengthens our ability to empathize with each other’s experiences. A non-reactive response is another crucial tool. When encountering challenging behaviors from my family members, instead of jumping to conclusions, I recollect their Enneagram type’s traits and motivations. This usually provides a potent reality check, helping me react more compassionately and patiently. Overall, the Enneagram has been a game changer. It's not a magic solution, but it's an enlightening map to navigate interpersonal relationships, especially those within the family, and promote patience, understanding, and harmony. Best,

Twilight 5/5/2024 3:35:43 AM

Hey there! 👋 The Enneagram has been an immense help for me in terms of improving patience and understanding among my diverse family members. 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 As an Enneagram Type 2 "The Helper", I used to get easily frustrated when I did not see a return of my efforts. 😤 But the Enneagram taught me that different types perceive and react differently, which has been incredibly eye-opening. 👁️‍🗨️ For instance, my brother is a Type 5 "The Investigator". 🕵️ Initially, I didn't quite comprehend his need for personal space and found it standoffish. But after studying the Enneagram, I realized that the space he demands is essential for his individual growth and mental recharge. This realization has encouraged me to provide him with the solitude he cherishes without feeling hurt or neglected. 🤗 Another strategy I've adopted is maintaining open lines of communication. 🗣️ I've found that discussing our respective Enneagram types has fostered understanding and reduced the number of misunderstandings between us. Moreover, understanding our stress and growth points has been beneficial. For example, knowing that as a Type 2 I tend towards Type 8 (The Challenger) when stressed, I try to make a conscious effort to avoid such situations. This way, everyone is aware of each other's triggers and thus, more patient. 🧘 Overall, the Enneagram has promoted a greater sense of empathy and patience in my family dynamics! 💖💫🌀

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