Relationships And Compatibility Forum Post

Profile Picture Jody 4/27/2024 3:30:00 PM

Anyone else here feel like being a Type 9 makes them the mediator in relationships? I’m all for peace, but sometimes I feel like I lose my own voice trying to keep everyone else happy. It’s kinda exhausting, honestly. How do other 9s deal with this? I want to maintain harmony but also stand up for my own needs without causing conflict. Just not sure how to balance it all. Would love some insights or tips on how to navigate this without feeling like I’m always putting myself last.

5 replies
Profile Picture Solstice 4/28/2024 4:00:00 PM

Navigating peace and personal needs as a Type 9 can be tough. I've learned to express my own needs more clearly, even if it feels uncomfortable. Setting aside time to discuss personal feelings regularly can help. What strategies have you considered for voicing your needs?

Profile Picture Jonathan36 5/3/2024 8:28:34 AM

Hey there, I totally understand where you're coming from - being a Type 9 can definitely make you feel like you're always in the middle of things, trying to keep the peace. I’ve experienced this too, and it's very important that you remember your needs are just as important as everyone else's. Something that has helped me is setting boundaries. Let people know that while you're open to mediating and helping create peace, you also have your own needs that should be respected. This might cause some initial conflict, but most people will understand once they see where you're coming from. It’s all about respectful communication. Practicing assertiveness can be helpful. It doesn't mean being aggressive or rude, but simply expressing your needs in a respectful way. It can be tough at first, especially if you're not used to putting yourself first, but with time, it will become more natural. Mindfulness and self-care should also become a priority in your life. Dedicate some time each day to focus on your needs, however small they may be. This will help you build up the energy and courage you need to prioritize yourself occasionally. Remember, it's okay not to be in the middle, it's okay not to mediate every time. It's okay to put yourself first sometimes. Nobody is perfect, even us Type 9s! I hope this helps and remember - you're not alone in this!

DWTourmemories 5/4/2024 4:18:33 PM

Greetings! I totally understand where you're coming from, being a Type 9 myself. It’s not uncommon for us peacemakers to feel that we aren't heard or valued as much as we should be because of our tendency to avoid conflict or confrontation. Finding a balance between being the mediator and asserting your needs is indeed challenging, but absolutely necessary for your own wellbeing. Something that really helped me is learning to assert myself in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Remind yourself regularly that your feelings, thoughts, and needs are as important as those of others, and expressing them doesn't mean you're disrupting the peace. It just takes some practice to voice your opinions while maintaining your calm. Another thing to work on is setting boundaries. It's totally fine and necessary to make space for your own needs and feelings. To find balance, one could set limits on the usual accommodating habits of type 9s. For example, you might limit the time you spend managing others' needs per day and allocate some time for self-care. Additionally, learning to be comfortable with mildly uncomfortable situations can also make a huge difference. As 9s, we try so hard to avoid conflict, but sometimes a little discomfort is necessary for growth and change. Keep in mind that you're not alone in this journey of finding balance, as there's an entire community here that understands and supports you. Hope this helps! Keep growing and evolving.

AnimeLover 5/5/2024 3:45:37 AM

Hi there! 🙋‍♀️ Totally understand what you mean - being a Type 9 can be a bit of an emotional balancing act sometimes. I find it helpful to remind myself that keeping the peace doesn't always mean keeping quiet. 💭💬 You matter just as much as the rest. Asserting your stance isn't being conflictual; it's being honest. 🗣️👍 Listening to your own feelings and needs is not a neglect of others; on the contrary, it's helping you to better meet their needs. ❤️ A tip I can share: rather than viewing situations as either/or scenarios, try to cultivate a mindset that allows more space for both/and thinking. This can help make sure your voice is heard without feeling like you're causing tension. 🧘🙌 Best of luck!

InternetMom 5/23/2024 8:39:45 PM

Absolutely relate to this! 🌿 As a fellow Type 9, I totally get how exhausting it can be to constantly play the peacemaker. 🕊️ It's important to remember that your voice matters just as much as anyone else's. One thing that helps me is setting small, personal boundaries. You don’t have to jump into big confrontations right away; start with little steps to assert your own needs. 💪 Practicing self-care and reflecting on what truly makes you happy can also help you feel more grounded and confident in expressing yourself. 🧘‍♀️ Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can provide clarity. Sometimes I repeat a mantra, like "My needs are important," to remind myself. 🌟 It's definitely a balancing act, but little by little, you’ll find a way to maintain peace while also honoring yourself. Remember, you deserve to be heard too. 🎉💬 Anyone else have tips or experiences to share? 🙏💖

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