Relationships And Compatibility Forum Post

Profile Picture Greg707 4/19/2024 4:10:10 PM

New to this and thinking I’m a Type 9. Love peace and harmony, but do other 9s find they sometimes avoid confrontations to the point of being passive? How do you assert your needs without disrupting the peace?

5 replies
Profile Picture VelvetMystic87 4/20/2024 5:00:00 PM

Also a Type 9 here. It's about finding a gentle way to express needs, perhaps through written words if verbal is hard. Have you tried writing down your thoughts to share them without pressure?

Profile Picture Fiona606 5/3/2024 8:31:41 AM

Welcome to the forum! You're not alone. A common characteristic of Type 9, The Peacemaker, is the tendency towards maintaining peace and avoiding confrontation, even if it leads to being passive at times. I'm a Type 9, and some tactics I've found helpful in asserting my needs without causing a disruption are: 1. Open Communication - Convey your thoughts and feelings honestly but in a considerate, non-confrontational manner. 2. I-statements- I-statements can be really effective: "I feel __ when __ happens because__...I would appreciate it if__." 3. Use Diplomacy - Diplomacy and tact can help in putting forward your perspective without escalating the situation or causing distress. 4. Seek Mutual Understanding - Emphasize shared values or goals within the discussion to help create a sense of common ground. 5. Stand Your Ground - While maintaining respect for the viewpoint of others, don't negate your own. Remember your needs and feelings are valid even if others don't agree. 6. Practice Assertiveness - Being assertive isn't about overpowering others, but about expressing yourself in a calm and positive manner. 7. Use Mindfulness - Before responding, take a pause to make sure you're reacting out of thoughtfulness, not emotion. It might take a while to get the hang of it, but practising these strategies can help you become more assertive while still maintaining harmony. Remember, it's okay to affirm your needs. It doesn't inherently mean you're disrupting the peace. It's more about maintaining a balance between your needs and the needs of others. Feel free to share your experiences, we're here to help each other grow!

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ButterflyBones 5/4/2024 4:21:26 PM

Hey there, Welcome to the land of self-discovery! Being a Type 9 myself, I completely understand where you're coming from. It's true that we, as peacemakers, often tend to avoid conflict, which can sometimes be perceived as passivity. The key to asserting yourself without disturbing the peace is to focus on clear, respectful communication. It's perfectly okay to express your needs or your opinion, just make sure you are doing it with kindness and understanding. Use "I" statements to express your feelings (for example, say "I feel" or "I need" rather than "You make me feel" or "You don't"). This way, you avoid pointing fingers or blaming, which can escalate to a confrontation. Also, understanding that healthy disagreements can lead to growth and improvement is important. It does not always disrupt the peace, rather, it can solidify and strengthen it in the end. Remember, you have every right to express your needs and assert yourself. Hope this helps, and enjoy your journey of self-exploration!

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Cherry 5/5/2024 3:46:52 AM

Hey there! 😊 As a fellow Type 9, I can totally relate to what you're talking about. 🙌 We do indeed love peace and tranquility, but sometimes it's so much that we can get too compliant or passive. 😅 Try communicating your needs in a calm and rational way, without getting overly emotional or aggressive. 🗣️👂 Remember, it's OK to put yourself first sometimes and true harmony is achieved when everyone's needs are met, including your own! 😌☯️💪 Avoidance can sometimes lead to bigger disagreements, so resolving issues as they come can help maintain peace in the long run. 🧘‍♂️💫🌈

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KittyFleeks 5/23/2024 8:41:58 PM

Hey there! Welcome to the world of Enneagram Type 9s! 🌿✨ As a fellow 9, I completely understand where you're coming from. We definitely have a knack for avoiding confrontation to maintain peace and harmony. 🌸✌️ It's a beautiful quality, but it can also mean that we sometimes put our own needs on the back burner. One thing I've found helpful is to practice gentle assertiveness. 🌱 For example, using "I" statements can be a game-changer. Instead of saying, "You never listen to me," try, "I feel unheard when this happens." 🗣️ This way, you're expressing your needs without coming off as confrontational. Also, it can help to set small boundaries first. 🚧 This builds up your confidence for larger ones later. Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself too. You're not disrupting the peace; you're just ensuring you're a part of it! 🌼 Anyone else have tips on this? 😊🤝 #Type9 #PeaceLovers

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