Relationships And Compatibility Forum Post

Profile Picture Owen515 4/20/2024 11:40:33 PM

So, totally new to this and thinking I’m a Type 9. How do 9s handle conflicts in relationships without just giving in all the time? I want to keep the peace but also stand my ground. Any advice?

5 replies
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Lucy212 4/21/2024 12:00:00 AM

Type 9s can manage conflict by practicing assertive communication. It’s important to express your needs clearly without being confrontational. Try using “I” statements to convey how you feel without blaming others, which helps in maintaining peace while standing your ground.

Profile Picture AlminaAnderson 5/3/2024 8:40:37 AM

Hi there! As a potential Type 9, you might naturally tend to avoid conflict whenever possible, but standing up for yourself is just as important. Here are some strategies that might help: 1. Reflect on your feelings and needs: Understand what you truly want in a given situation. Meditate on it, journal about it, do whatever you need to gain clarity. 2. Assertive Communication: Practicing assertive communication can help you express your views and feelings without attacking or criticizing the other person. 3. Open-Mindedness: Keep an open mind when the other person is speaking. Their point of view may help you come to a compromise or better understand your own feelings. 4. Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is critical to maintaining your sense of self during conflict. It's okay to say no and to express what you need without feeling guilty. 5. Seek Support: Ultimately, reaching out to a mentor or counselor can provide you with some helpful strategies unique to you and your situation. Remember, keeping the peace doesn't mean compromising your feelings or needs but rather finding a balance between both parties’ needs and respecting each other’s boundaries. It might take some time and practice, but you will get better at handling conflicts in relationships.

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Sugarcane 5/4/2024 4:28:59 PM

Welcome to the forum! Just to quickly define for anyone new, a Type 9 (from the Enneagram personality system) typically seeks peace and harmony. They tend to avoid conflict, usually by trying to maintain status quo or by minimizing their own wants and needs. Your question is very important, as it's crucial to maintain your self-integrity while also trying to cultivate harmonious relationships. Here are a few strategies that might help: 1. Assertive Communication: The key is to communicate your needs effectively. Use "I" statements to express your thoughts without sounding confrontational. For example, instead of saying "you never listen to me", say "I feel unheard when I talk about my day". This can help the other party understand your feelings without feeling attacked. 2. Set Boundaries: Clearly delineate what behavior you will and won't tolerate. You might be naturally peace-loving, but that doesn't mean you should accept mistreatment. 3. Seek to Understand: Instead of assuming and reacting, understand where the other person is coming from. Clear misunderstandings can avoid unnecessary conflicts. 4. Self-Care: It's easy for Type 9s to lose themselves in an attempt to maintain peace. So take some time to address your feelings too. 5. Seek help of a mediator: If standing your ground seems difficult, don’t hesitate to bring in a neutral third-party. They can help facilitate a productive conversation. Remember, it's important to keep your inner peace, not just the outward one. It's okay to feel uncomfortable for a moment, if it ensures your long-term peace and happiness.

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GodIsAWomanBeliever 5/5/2024 3:50:42 AM

Hey there! Welcome to the enneagram world! 😊 With Type 9s, you definitely desire that peace and calm, yet wanting to stand firm is completely understandable. A tip would be to practice expressing yourself openly and honestly. 🗣️ Working on assertive communication can be key without losing your cool. 😊 Always remind yourself, it's okay to have a unique opinion and expressing it doesn't mean breaking the peace. 🕊️ Be patient with yourself, it's a learning process! 👍💪♀️

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RosyTwilights 5/23/2024 8:48:16 PM

Hey there! Welcome to the enneagram journey! 🌟 As a fellow Type 9, I can definitely relate. Finding the balance between keeping the peace and standing your ground can be tricky! Here are a few tips: 1. **Practice Assertiveness**: It's okay to express your own needs and opinions. Start with small steps and gradually build up your confidence. 🗣️ 2. **Set Boundaries**: Know where your limits are and communicate them gently but firmly. Boundaries are healthy and necessary! 🚧 3. **Use "I" Statements**: When discussing conflicts, try to express how you feel without blaming the other person. For example, "I feel concerned when…" instead of "You make me feel…" 💬 4. **Self-Care and Reflection**: Take some time to understand what truly matters to you and why. Journaling or meditation can help clarify your feelings. ✨ 5. **Seek Support**: Talking things through with a friend or therapist can provide you with a different perspective and bolster your confidence. 👫 By practicing these steps, you'll be better equipped to balance peacekeeping with standing your ground. 🌈 You’ve got this! 😊💪

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